Randall pulls the ultimate guilt trip in a loaded episode of ‘This Is Us’

Randall Pearson (Sterling K. Brown) is not okay. In fact, he’s so not okay that This Is Us (Tuesdays, 9 pET, CTV) needed an entire episode to delve into his state of mind, and what a deep dive it was. Now that he’s in therapy it seems like everything is on the table, and the show took the opportunity to explore what life might have been like for the Pearson crew had Jack (Milo Ventimiglia) survived that fire and Rebecca (Mandy Moore) fessed up about William (Ron Cephas Jones) sooner. Naturally, because these "what-if" scenarios were all told from Randall’s point-of-view, things were slightly… surreal.

What if…

To give fans an idea of where Randall was really at, the series broke its format with a type of dream sequence that showed two potential post-fire scenarios. In the first, life was picture-perfect. Randall saved Jack, Rebecca immediately told Randall about William, William and Jack bonded together in AA, and Randall caught his birth father’s stomach cancer in time to save him. Basically, Randall became the poster child for the old “savior complex,” something his therapist (Pamela Adlon) was quick to point out.[video_embed id='1827415']RELATED:Sterling K. Brown reveals how 'Waves' influenced his approach to parenting[/video_embed]But when the therapist challenged Randall to rework his idea of what life with Jack would look like with the worst-case scenarios instead, things took a pretty dark turn. Jack and Rebecca had a severe rift between them because of William, Randall became an entirely different person (a womanizer with a pierced ear!) at Howard, and he and Rebecca never fully recovered. Considering how connected he and his adoptive mother have been this entire series, that alone was enough to send everyone watching reaching for tissues. Especially thanks to some pretty epic performances by Teen Randall, aka Niles Fitch.It was all pretty emotional for the characters, too. Entering the episode fans knew that Randall has some issues with anxiety and control, but these scenarios helped everyone—including Randall—to realize just how damaged he actually is. And, because this is This Is Us, it also pulled on the heartstrings by giving fans a chance to see Jack interact with his adult children—something that will never, ever happen in any of the actual timelines on this show because you can’t bring back the dead. Bawling yet?

If Jack were alive today...#thisisus pic.twitter.com/dSBAapwsJg

— Mandy Moore (@TheMandyMoore) March 18, 2020

Turning the tables

So what was Randall’s takeaway from the (not-so) therapeutic exercises? That the cliché “blame the mother” diagnosis is kind of true in his case—as much as he didn’t want to admit it. He still resents that Rebecca didn’t tell him about William sooner and that she took away his chance at knowing his birth father. But, because it’s Randall and he doesn’t want to hurt her, he can never, ever square that away with her.Instead he played into an even bigger realization, the one that will absolutely factor into next week’s finale: that he's so scared of losing the people he loves that he will obsess and push until he knows that he has done everything humanly possible to save them. That is the guilt he holds from Jack and from William, and now he’s putting it on Rebecca.Even though she made it quite clear that she didn’t want to leave her family behind and join the Alzheimer’s trial, Randall full-on broke down and gave her the biggest guilt trip. “I’ve been a good son,” he told her on the phone, over and over again through tears, until she finally agreed to pack up and go. Was it emotionally manipulative? Plenty of viewers probably think so. Does Randall care? No. No, he does not. He has entered a survival mode of sorts, and so long as he saves his mother, then he can justify dragging her into his feelings.

I don’t think Randall likes being that guy any more than you did. ? #ThisIsUs pic.twitter.com/TpoiqVxrwD

— Sterling K Brown (@SterlingKBrown) March 18, 2020

You know who won’t be able to justify it though? Kevin. Viewers finally have their answer as to what drives the brothers apart, and that moment was it. Given that Kevin (Justin Hartley) was in the room with Rebecca when she made her feelings about the treatment known, he’ll definitely have something to say about his mom leaving against her will. And as for Kate? Well, that remains to be seen. One things is for sure though, and that’s that there is only one episode left in the season to dig into it all.That episode, “Strangers: Part Two” takes place on Baby Jack’s first birthday and is a play on the season premiere (which introduced fans to Cassidy, grown-up Jack, and Malik). Considering the entire family is headed to Los Angeles for some birthday celebrations, fans should expect lots of (emotional) cake-cutting and fireworks of epic proportions. As if a This Is Us finale would deliver anything less.This Is Us airs Tuesdays at 9 pET on CTV.[video_embed id='1920389']BEFORE YOU GO: Meghan Markle says emotional goodbye to U.K. before leaving for Canada[/video_embed]