Kris Jenner wants Khloe Kardashian to get it on

This season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians started out with some major family tension, an epic fist fight and many, many tears, but don’t despair, this week’s episode was all about the baby-making, both literally and figuratively. In short: Kris Jenner is getting it on all the time, and she wants Khloe to get on her level. It’s about as gloriously awkward as you’d expect.“Are you dating anyone?” Kris asked Khloe as the episode began, trying to position the sentence as a casual question and not the hardcore maternal interrogation we all knew was coming. Khloe replied that no, she hasn’t dated anyone since her break-up with Tristan and who knows, maybe she’ll never date again—a suggestion that horrified Mama Jenner. After all, Kris just wants Khloe to “live her best life and have another baby one day.”[video_embed id='1936920']RELATED: Khloe Kardashian says she might never date again[/video_embed]Totally abandoning any attempt to maintain her chill, Kris quickly moved on to asking Khloe if her eggs were frozen, practically begging her to do it RIGHT. NOW. (Because, you know, freezing your eggs is a totally simple thing and not a physically challenging medical process that takes a lot of time and money.) Unconvinced, Khloe insists that she’s “actually f****ing fantastic” as a single woman, adding that she’s “completely happy and fine” focusing on herself and daughter True.“Wow,” her momager replied in genuine awe. “That’s impressive.” (The KarJenner girls may be successful multi-hyphenates with fulfilling careers but dammit, Kris wants them all partnered and pregnant, and what Kris wants, Kris gets.)

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Kris really just said "it's just one of those days" ? New #KUWTK tonight 8/7c on E!

A post shared by Kardashians on E! (@kuwtk) on Apr 9, 2020 at 11:00am PDT

'What is this conversation?'

Soon, we all learned that Kris doesn’t just have babies on the brain—she’s thinking about S-E-X, and having plenty of it with boyfriend Corey (who is, for the record, the same age as daughter Kim). Arriving at a lunch date with Khloe and Kendall with smeared lipstick and a distinctly post-coital glow, Kris revealed that she had Corey had just fooled around in the car, adding that her BF had to go home and sleep because they were up all night. If you just shuddered, imagine how Khloe and Kendall felt.

Tonight's episode in a nutshell ? #KUWTK will be back next week! pic.twitter.com/KTNb5UpqsQ

— Kardashians on E! (@KUWTK) April 10, 2020

As the one-sided sex talk continued, Khloe’s face grew more horrified and Kendall began staring into the distance with a deliberately blank expression, no doubt wishing she were, oh, literally anywhere else in the world. “What is this conversation?” she interjected at one point, seeming both mortified and perplexed by her mother’s admissions. We have no idea either, Kendall, but later, we will be treated to a montage of Kris and Corey sneaking off to hook up in a washroom, in an elevator, in her office at Kylie Cosmetics and elsewhere.Kris spent the rest of the episode oscillating between getting it on and trying to set up Khloe with handsome strangers, first at Dick’s Sporting Goods and later on a golf course (“what the f*** is a fairway?” Khloe questions at one point). She even gets Kim and grandma MJ on board, with the latter gently suggesting that Khloe should date a nice accountant or plumber. Naturally, Kris and Kim burst out laughing at the thought. WHO DATES A PLUMBER? It’s NBA stars and rappers only, duh.

Pretty Woman moment

The penultimate moment of the episode came when Khloe and Malika received a phone call from a “friend” who just happened to see Corey getting into a hotel elevator with a mysterious redhead (gasp!). The girls bee-lined it to the hotel, wondering aloud if Corey was with a prostitute and calling the situation, “so Pretty Woman.” Since their source had conveniently given them the exact room number Corey was staying in at a fancy and well-secured hotel, the duo was able to bust in with hats and sunglasses on and an entire camera crew in tow. When the mystery redhead was revealed to be Kris in a cheap wig and silk negligee, the pair left, relieved that the sudden cheating scandal was actually nothing more than their mom’s secret afternoon sex game. (Wait, is “relieved” the right word after learning that information?)Regardless, Corey was in the clear and Khloe was pleased. “People will just stick their little ding-a-ling in anything,” Khloe mused to the camera. “When I say people, I just mean men.In the end, Kris got her way (as usual). Khloe stopped by the matriarch’s office-slash-sex-den to put an end to her awkward match-making attempts, explaining, “I don’t like it. It makes me uncomfortable.” Kris reluctantly agreed to stop but was delighted when Khloe shared that she was planning on freezing her eggs after all, just to have options down the road. “Are you going to make embryos?” Kris gasped excitedly. “You need sperm for that,” Khloe replied, rolling her eyes. One step at a time, maybe. Khloe is “celibate and celebrating,” after all, and not everyone has Kris Jenner’s stamina for extracurriculars.Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs Thursday evenings at 8pE on E![video_embed id='1937556']BEFORE YOU GO: Issa Rae is back with more 'Insecure' and it's exactly what we need[/video_embed]