Shailene Woodley reveals she was 'very, very sick' in her early twenties

For someone who has spent most of her life in the spotlight, Shailene Woodley isn’t exactly someone you’d think of when it comes to celebrities opening up. The 28-year-old Divergent and Big Little Lies star is definitely well known and has her own passionate fanbase, but as for her personal life? That’s typically been off the table. Until now, that is.While doing press for the upcoming digital release of her new film, Endings, Beginnings (because a theatrical release is out of the question given the coronavirus pandemic), Woodley opened up to the New York Times via telephone about the movie, relationships, and a dark period in her twenties that she’s never really talked about before.When the publication asked her how she’s grown over the last decade or so and what she learned from her early twenties, the actress revealed that she was sick and struggled from a loss of identity. “In my late teens, I had a strong idea of my identity and the meaning of my life, but then I went through an abusive relationship,” she revealed. “That combined with, honestly, the commercial success I had in this industry began to wear on my strength. My twenties felt a little bit like being in a washing machine, where you’re being thrown all over the place.”

 

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Woodley said that she had always thought of acting as a hobby until she hit her twenties (she started out when she was just five years old), and then gigs she had been doing for fun turned into something different. “Fear and anxiety and competition were definitely at the forefront of my mind and my ego in a way they weren’t when I was younger,” she explained.The actress then hinted there’s a lot more to that story, one she will tell some day in the future. “I haven’t spoken much about this yet publicly, and I will one day, but I was very, very sick in my early twenties. While I was doing the Divergent movies and working hard, I also was struggling with a deeply personal, very scary physical situation,” she said. “Because of that, I said no to a lot of opportunities because I needed to get better, and those jobs ended up going to peers of mine who I love. They went on to a lot of success, but there was a mix of people saying, ‘You shouldn’t have let that go!’ or ‘You shouldn’t have been sick!’… I was in a place where I had no choice but to just surrender and let go of my career, and it brought out this negative voice in my mind that kept spinning for years and years afterward.”Thankfully Woodley admitted that she’s on the “other side” of it now, and that she’s taken the last few years to focus on her mental health. Now she feels more clear about what she wants in life, love, and work, and she feels “grateful to have walked that line of fire, because now I know what I don’t want to ever go back to.”It’s a lot to break down to be sure, but those revelations weren’t the only news to come out of the interview. Endings, Beginnings includes that great romantic device known as the love triangle, and so the interviewer asked her about love. It was then that she revealed she and rugby player Ben Volavola have indeed broken up (“I’m very much single and I’ve chosen to be single for a while”), but she also explained that she doesn’t necessarily have a defined idea of what a relationship is.“Listen, I’m someone who has experienced both an open relationship and a deeply monogamous relationship in my life, and I think we’re in a day and age where there should be no rules except for the ones designed by two people in a partnership—or three people, whatever floats your boat!” she said. “But there has to be a level of responsibility in any relationship dynamic, and that responsibility is simply honesty and communication and trust. Apart from that, it’s really none of our business what people choose to do with their lives.”Preach it, sister. Who knew that social distancing would have so many (unexpected) people opening up? At this point it’s anyone’s guess who might spin some gems next.[video_embed id='1938449']RELATED: These six tips will help your relationship survive isolation[/video_embed]