Caitlyn Jenner opens up about gender dysphoria in new essay

Caitlyn Jenner is opening up about her struggles growing up with gender dysphoria in a powerful new essay, revealing that she finally feels like her true and authentic, happy self. But getting there was definitely a journey, one that she’s now willing to address in full.In a piece for Women’s Health as a part of the 2020 Pride Month coverage, Jenner writes about how she was nine years old when she first realized she was grappling with gender dysphoria, and how she channeled her struggles in order to drive and push herself, especially with sport. “By the time I was 9-years-old, I was struggling with my gender identity. I would sneak into my mother and sister’s closets when nobody was around to try on their clothes, or go play with their makeup. I had no idea why I was doing it; it just felt right,” she writes.[video_embed id='5853982166001']RELATED: Caitlyn Jenner thinks she was wrong to support Trump in 2016 election[/video_embed]“Then, in fifth grade, we had a running race out in the parking lot and they timed every kid in the school—and I had the fastest time of anybody. I was shocked, and realized this was something at which I could actually excel,” she continues. “I needed sports more to prove to myself that I could be good at something, and I worked a little harder than I think I would have if I hadn’t been struggling.”The 70-year-old admits that by the time she was training for the Olympics, having a strict schedule and putting all of her efforts into getting ready to compete left her “far away” from Caitlyn. But she was only ignoring her issues, and they were still very much present. “When you suffer from gender dysphoria, it’s not something you can take two aspirin for, get plenty of sleep, wake up the next morning, and everything’s fine. You’re just kind of stuck with it,” she says.“I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t know what was going on with me. But it was also my dyslexia and gender issues that made me an Olympic champion. I channeled my struggles to drive and push me. Now, I see those issues as my gift.”Jenner came out as a trans women in 2015, and she legally changed her gender and name a few months later. Her story was highly publicized at the time, as E! commissioned a reality show revolving around her journey, I Am Cait, and Vanity Fair asked her to pose on the cover of its summer issue.In the Women’s Health essay Jenner also credits the Olympics committee for being “way ahead” of the rest of the sports world in terms of trans athletes because they’ve had to have hard discussions about hormone use and have developed clear policies for athletes as a result. “Over the last 15 to 20 years, the IOC has done a lot of research on these issues. I think they’ve done just about as good of a job as you can do,” she adds. “In the future, I think more sports organizations are going to have to find a way to accept trans athletes, too. We have certainly come a long way in the past 20 to 30 years, but we still have a ways to go.”Jenner wraps her note by admitting she’s lucky to have led the life she has, and she has no regrets. Especially since she was able to have six genetic children and four stepkids, and many “wonderful women” in her life. But through it all she never believed she would be able to live her life authentically, and that she would be dealing with gender dysphoria for her entire life.“It wasn’t until I was 63 years old looking back and realizing I was dealing with the same issues I had when I was 9 that I wondered, ‘What am I going to do with my life?’ I finally got the guts to tell my story. It wasn’t an easy decision, and it took a long time,” she concludes. “No matter your situation, there’s no right or wrong way to come out. But now, I wake up in the morning, and I look in the mirror, and everything finally feels like it’s in the right place. I’m not struggling anymore. I’m happy.”[video_embed id='-1']BEFORE YOU GO: 78-year-old grandfather walks out of hospital after beating COVID-19[/video_embed]