Tallulah Willis talks about growing up in the shadow of her gorgeous mom, Demi Moore

Tallulah Willis has been told since she was a baby that, looks-wise, she takes after her father, Bruce Willis more than she resembles her mother, Demi Moore. And while it’s a normal thing to look more like one parent than another, it’s less normal for one of your parents to be considered one of the most beautiful women in the world.

“I punished myself for not looking like my mom,” wrote the 27-year-old on Instagram, “after being told I was BW [Bruce Willis’] twin since birth — I resented the resemblance as I believed wholly my ‘masculine’ face was the sole reason for my unlovability — FALSE!” she continued, adding, “I was/am inherently valuable and worthy, at any life stage, at any size, with any hair do! (As are you)”

Willis then opened up about the source of her insecurity: body dysmorphia, in which a person perceives or even obsesses over a “flaw” in their appearance — one that often can't even be seen by other people. Over time, Tallulah has learned ways to cope with the persistent thoughts and feelings and she offered up her techniques to be adopted by others who might also be suffering.  

One technique she uses is to set boundaries with her own reflection, saying that sometimes she covers the mirrors in her home or implements a rule “that I only can look in [the] mirror when brushing teeth and washing face.”

She also takes breaks from social media platforms like Instagram, instead going on long walks while listening to music or getting lost in a good book (Willis says she’s into fantasy fiction series like A Court of Thorns and Roses). Her other self-care techniques include long baths and soothing moisturizers, breathing exercises, and writing. “Word vomit EVERYTHING that is gurgling within your mind onto a piece of paper and then tear it up or burn it,” she recommends. “Let it flow out of you and no longer take up the precious space in your mind.”

Willis also touched on something that seems to be at the root of body dysmorphia: the pressure (especially on young girls and women) to look a certain way. It’s a pressure that’s still encountered in magazines, on social media, and all over the entertainment industry — not to mention within one’s own family and friend circle (if you don’t believe it, just read this viral text exchange from a bride demanding that her bridesmaids all conform to their size eight dresses in time for her December wedding).

“Be mindful of the special and impressionable minds around you and their access to social media and potential triggering imagery or the indicators that hyper-focusing on one’s appearance goes deeper than just wanting to feel good in their own skin,” she wrote. “We all want to feel good, and confident but when it creeps into a deeper, spookier place where it begins to devour your essence bit by bit, ask for help,” advised Willis. “Do not feel ashamed, this is not a ‘stupid, vain issue’ this is a genuine psychological pain and I see you so clearly and witness the validity in your struggle.”

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